who moved my cheese: scrapbooks

Last night I took out an old scrapbook to share with Trenton since Hudson fell asleep early....30 minutes later I thought....why have we not done this before?

Once upon a time when I was a stay at home/travel with my husband to every baseball field on the east coast mom I used to have so much time to devote to scrap booking. I loved every minute of each step...taking the pictures, going to the store to pick out the pages to go with the picture I just took, getting all my scrapbook things together on the floor, cutting/gluing/sticking all paper/decorations/pictures to each page. It was so peaceful and so therapeutic for me. I was even the mom who would be told, wow you put so much time into that, just wait when you have another child you won't be able to do this, and I would reply with no hesitation or doubt in my mind, actually I will do this for each of my children....ha! isn't that a dream!!!! Trenton-the first born- has three hand made scrapbooks, Hudson-the second born- has three print out from Shutterfly!

Trenton and I at the baseball field 2004

As Trenton and I were going over each page and each memory with the page I could see in his eyes at that moment he not only felt loved but also seemed to be so happy and proud to have been to all these different places. He remembered some of the events we went to or had but mostly laughed at what he had done in each picture...his first birthday we had a party in Katy and one in California, at the California party before anyone could begin to sing happy birthday he had dug his hand into the cake! Again, why have I not pulled these out before to have a special time with Trenton? It was a wonderful moment with just Trenton and I.

Now here is the sad part....as I was looking through the pictures I could not get over the fact at how skinny I was and how at that time in my life I thought I was fat. Why did I and still do torture myself in the now with thinking so many bad things about myself...thighs are so jiggly, have Oprah arms, muffin top and the list goes on? I am the same weight and size in clothes as I was then but I looked at the pictures and thought wow I was fit. Why can I not learn to think of that now when I look in the mirror? Ugh, am I the only one that does this?